Your insecurities are yours not mine.

When you feel the need to draw someone’s attention to something that’s truly not a problem at all (TRUTHFULLY), but that thing is a problem to you then YOU have issues to be fixed not that person.

Imagine you see someone wearing a shoe that you would never wear. Its ok that you would never wear that. So stick to what you would wear. You cross the line trying to bring down someone’s self esteem because it makes you feel less than an imaginary pedestal you’ve placed yourself on; especially when the person never even asked for your opinion.

I was once in “situationship” with someone who had problem with the way I pronounced the word “Thursday” 😂😂😂. Today when I remember I even wanted to change the way I pronounced that word whenever I was around him, I laugh at myself. How else do you pronounce Thursday apart from Thursday? 😂😂😂 Somebody please help me. I remember how beatdown I was that day and a few days after. He would go on to say things like“You have a great body but the only problem is your tummy. If you could let it get a bit flatter you are good” This was me literally trying to suffocate myself around him because I didn’t want my lickle tummy pooch to show. I know you look neat when all your body looks held together under your clothes (reason why a lot of people slim and big jump on shapers these days) but honestly that tummy of mine then was like nothing to even complain about especially when I didn’t even ask what he thought of my body.

At that point I was getting tired and in my head I was like “Wofa Payin Kwaku I dont care what you think again because this is your problem not mine”

There was this other time I attended a wedding in 2018 and I was feeling so good about myself that day. I took my pictures and posted them on my IG story and this guy I was now becoming friends with had the audacity to tell me “You really look great but just work on your tummy a little and everything should be fine” I was so very annoyed when he said that I almost replied him “THATS YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE!” Because honestly if you had seen the picture there was no tummy anywhere!!! Why are you looking for tummy in a “tummyless” picture” I asked so many other people and they said they couldn’t find anything there and that I was really stressing myself out. Now a picture I had liked so much I was no longer enjoying it because of how I allowed some boy to project his insecurities over me.

I have come to understand that SOMETIMES, (not all), the way people treat you or the things people say to you is a reflection of the trouble and identity battles they are dealing with inside their heads, and the confidence you use to stand in your somewhat “imperfect” completeness intimidates them, consciously or unconsciously. They are unable to understand that your level of self-appreciation is not defined by just any kind of ridiculous standard or their irrelevant perception of you. The next thing thing they do is to try to let you think that "per their standard" NOT YOURS 😂😂😂😂, you do not make the cut so you are still incomplete even if you are confident that you are good.

These men I have mentioned clearly had a picture of what type of woman they would appreciate and what body shape they would appreciate too. There was honestly nothing wrong with that but it was very disrespectful to force me into their shell of ideas and beliefs of what they think a woman should look like when no two women are the same.

I was gorgeous and still am gorgeous and very special because Jesus said so. So if you feel that a situation does not fit your criteria do not destroy what you came to meet with your ridiculous comments because someone may very much appreciate it just the way it is.

Do not take any harsh words from any disrespectful person to heart because it is their boxed and very limited scope of thinking, defined by vague imaginations of what they want to be seen like or what person they would want to be seen with. You are not the problem.

No shade to anyone I am only stating examples of such situations.

I once had friends who asked me why I was always seen wearing hoop earrings. “Is this the only earring you have?“, one of them said. Another one said “It is left with the day your earring holes will tear from wearing these things. One day someone will pull it and then you’ll get hurt and learn sense”. This thing actually got to i stopped wearing my hoops. NOW FAST FORWARD INTO A FEW MONTHS AND THEY ARE BUYING HOOPS AND WEARING THEM!

I was taken aback! ( Shakes Spear) 😂😂😂. I said wow! This is just hoops but wow! In my head I was wondering “weren’t you just complaining about this very same thing that was on my ears and not yours. Now all of a sudden when you are wearing it its ok to wear it?” It was never an issue to see anyone wearing hoops and I dont even have the right to view it as a problem because it’s just earrings. Now the issue for me was why they tried to intimidate me with their own insecurities because these were clearly their fears in regards to wearing hoop earrings; they tried to project over me.

I do not want to be misleading so I have to clarify that there are exceptions to this topic stated above. There are times where certain things in your life need to be reevaluated and God can use people to draw your attention to them in a loving way and that is what I meant by ”TRUTHFULLY” at the beginning of this blog. You should be able to handle constructive criticisms where necessary especially when you know it is going to shape your life in a very good way. You can pray to God for this discernment.

But to those who would deliberately say things that are very unnecessary to lower your confidence whether they intend to or not, pay no heed, because it is not you and there is no problem. IGNORE THEM!