DADDY ISSUES

Isaiah 49:1-16

"Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name.

He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.

He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor."

But I said, "I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand, and my reward is with my God."

And now the LORD says-- he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel to himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD and my God has been my strength--

he says: "It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

This is what the LORD says-- the Redeemer and Holy One of Israel-- to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation, to the servant of rulers: "Kings will see you and rise up, princes will see and bow down, because of the LORD, who is faithful, the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you."

This is what the LORD says: "In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances, to say to the captives, `Come out,' and to those in darkness, `Be free!' "They will feed beside the roads and find pasture on every barren hill.

They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat upon them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.

I will turn all my mountains into roads, and my highways will be raised up.

See, they will come from afar-- some from the north, some from the west, some from the region of Aswan.1"

Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

Many people have had to grow up without their fathers around and even some of those who had their fathers at home say they barely felt his presence in the home.

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

Isaiah 49:16 explains that a mother can forget her child, if so, then how much more a father. It is a known fact that many people are more attached to their mothers than fathers. If it is possible, despite the stronger bond between a mother and her child, for a mother to forget her child, then how much more a father who did not do any carrying.

I am not by this saying there are no men in the world who care deeply for their children. I am also not saying that it is ok that a father would not care for his child. I do not and will never endorse any parent being absent, whether at home (and yes it is very possible for parent to be present but very much absent) or living away.

I grew up without a father present and I have had to navigate life without knowing what it means to have a dad present and involved in every activity of my life.

Do I have a good relationship with my dad?

Yes and a very great one and I love him dearly.

Are we in good communication?

Yes and in very communication.

Is he a good and supportive parent?

Yes he is a very amazing and supportive father.

Am I angry that he was barely physically present?

I used to be but not anymore.

Do I wish that he stayed so I would have a father and a man present to walk me through life, the stages that come with life and the challenges that come with trying to navigate life?

Yes

Am I angry that he did not stay?

I used to be but not anymore.

NOW THE BIGGEST QUESTION

DO I THINK THAT I MISSED OUT ON FATHERHOOD?

I used to think that I had, but not anymore.

I am not angry again. I used to cry A LOT! I was angry with my dad and things got explosive at times, I would even fight him. I am not proud of behaving that way and I will not do it again but it was necessary. It had to get explosive. I had to cry and let it all out. I was very angry but not anymore. Things had to get that far. Everything I was feeling and everything I was not allowing myself to feel, all the anger and pain from the past and growing up, all the questions; I had to let it all out.

Some friends became victims in my explosive ways and angry moments sometimes and they did not deserve that, but that mess was necessary. Could I have avoided it and could I have handled things in a better way? YES! Nevertheless, it was NECESSARY, because in these vulnerable and fragile moments, I called unto God and He let the Holy Spirit counsel me.

He told me I did not miss out on anything because He was there every step of the way. He celebrated every milestone with me. He reminded me and gave evidence of everything! From ground zero, the day I was born until that point and now. How a stillborn child was brought back to life after a cord was around her neck, delivered blue with a praying mother calling out to heaven to save her child, begging heaven not to let her journey up to that point, be in vain. How a doctor who was not on duty that day appeared and assisted during my birth and made sure to use his all to bring me back to life! God said it was not by chance and Jesus was standing in the gap and the Holy Spirit was there! He said, “You are a miracle baby and I made it so.” He reminded me of more, things I had long forgotten, he reminded me of everything. He said “YOU ARE DESTINY’S CHILD!”

He said

“Parents are only caretakers. Yes, I have put them in charge and they will be accountable but even over your parents’ lives, I AM STILL IN CHARGE. Therefore, even if you think your father was unable to come through in the sense of his presence at home, I still came through for you in ALL ways. You were never alone; you just did not know I was there. I will provide for you, and I always have. In every way, your father could not come through, lean on me, call on me and I will fill it up. Every empty space and every broken heart, I WILL FILL AND I WILL MEND. Every missing piece, put your trust in me and I will fix. I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. You were with me before I sent you here to do my work. Look to me always. Forgive and love because with love you will break the curse. He did not have a father too, he is also still in the process. You are all my children and you are going to make mistakes but look to me to straighten your path.”

The anger vanishing did not start in a day. It took a while. I still cried on many other days in secret, but this message echoed and Holy Spirit made sure to be loud with it. He did not endorse anything or mistake that had happened but he asked to me to forgive and love. He continued to remind me of many others days His mighty hand was lifted in my life.

Do I continue to see some effects of not growing up with a father in the home? YES! Nevertheless, I am not angry again. I simply ask the Holy Spirit to help me, correct me and heal me where the need be because God is the only one true Father. So maybe I did not grow up with a dad at home but and so what? Look how far I have come. There must have been a hand, leading me and directing me. Even for those who had both parents present; there is only so much a parent can control.

It is ok and VERY ok not to be ok. God wants this vulnerability. He wants to work with it.

SO YES WE HAVE DADDY ISSUES BUT WE ARE STILL DANGEROUS WEAPONS IN THE HANDS OF GOD AND WE WILL SHAKE THE GATES OF HELL. WE WILL BREAK GENERATIONAL CURSES AND WE WILL ACHIEVE ALL THAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO ACHIEVE BECAUSE WE HAVE AN EVERLASTING FATHER. SO DADDY OR NO DADDY WE ARE GUCCI AND WE WILL LIVE ABOVE THAT SITUATION AND DO BETTER WITH THE HELP OF GOD.